Ah, relatives – can’t live with them, can’t live without them. Most of the time, they’re pretty harmless (when not around, that is!) but come family gatherings during the festive season, it’s a whole other ball game. Nosy aunts, cousins, and grandparents aren’t the least bit shy to ask the dreaded questions about your job, love life, or worse – your weight!
Fed up by the constant interrogation? We feel ya. Read on for our survival guide on how to deal with these nosy parkers this Christmas.
“Soooo, got a man in your life?”
We’ve definitely been on the receiving end of this good ol’ classic. Our tip: fake it until you make it. “No, I just broke up with my 27th boyfriend.” Then casually shrug and start stuffing yourself (Bridget Jones’ style) with some turkey to ease the pain.
“Still single? If you’re not careful you’ll be left on the shelf!” (loud guffaw)
First, resist the temptation to wrap your hands around Grandma’s neck. Violence is not the answer. It’s time to do your Independent Woman act with the classic line, “Why not? A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle”.
“When are you getting married?”
This one’s a cakewalk. Let your partner deal with the question. No, you’re not throwing him to the wolves – you might quite like to know the answer too!
“Will we hear the pitter patter of tiny feet soon?”
Fresh off your honeymoon, yet this infernal baby question comes up. The trick? Blame it on everyone’s favourite bad guy: the government. “Raising a child in Singapore is too expensive, Singapore is overpopulated, etc…” Before long, everyone will be chiming in with their own government conspiracy theories and bugbears. Conversation moved on. Crisis averted!
“Have you gained weight?”
Just walk away, ladies, walk away. And don’t look back, unless you want to start an all-out brawl. But if you’re spoiling for a fight, go ahead, let the claws come out – “Why yes, but at least I can lose weight!”
“When’s the baby due?”
Tit for tat. “When’s yours due?” (Don’t they know anything? You never ask if someone’s pregnant until the baby’s delivered and, well, the fat lady sings).
“So what is it that you do, again? Human resources?”
Unfortunately, we’ve got no witty responses for this one. No matter how many business cards you dole out, the detail doesn’t really seem important – PR, HR, IR: same, same after a few brandies. And besides, getting it right would leave nothing to talk about next Christmas.