Being a parent is tough, but being a stay-at-home parent when the world says you’re not supposed to is a lot tougher.
In lieu of Father’s Day this week, we visited a stay-at-home dad to get some perspective on fatherhood. First up, we’ll say this: we only have the utmost respect for parents everywhere. Parents who work fulltime, part-time, stay-at-home mums and dads – running after kids is a challenging task!
But the game is tougher for some folks, and that’s where stay-at-home dads come in. Meet Lance Lesslar, a Singaporean Dad who’s been looking after his kids fulltime, with no help, for the last 7 years.
Unlike most local and expat families here, the Lesslars have chosen not to employ help, which means Lance does everything from the washing and cooking to the cleaning and grocery shopping. He also drops off and picks up the kids, does birthday present shopping, packs school lunches and arranges playdates, takes them to swimming, dance, Aikido, and the doctor’s, helps out at his kids’ class, and assists on field trips. On top of all that, Lance runs Babylicious, an e-boutique selling quality maternity, nursing, and children’s products at affordable prices.
Translation: he’s a very busy man.
Lance was candid enough to let on that initial response to his career choice (or lack thereof) wasn’t positive. His dad had issues about it, although he is now supportive and proud of what Lance does. And though it was a mutual decision between Lance and his wife, Tiara, it wasn’t a trouble-free one. [Ed. note: Tiara is working on an expat package, so the arrangement was partly financially motivated. Her job as a school teacher also means she has longer holidays, which allow for more family time.] His army buddies, on the other hand, were totally onboard with the idea – until they had kids of their own.
His son was born with food allergies, so he had to experiment and cook meals that were egg-, nut-, dairy-, and wheat-free. The end result? He makes some mean vegan desserts.
We also asked Lance about mummy groups and whether he had joined any, to which he told us that he did – but it was always odd being the only man when all the women were talking about breastfeeding. (That’s something we don’t dispute.)
But like every parent, Lance had this to say about raising kids – his mum comes over weekly to help out; his dad builds toys out of paper rolls with the kids; Tiara plays a big part in raising the kids (she’s the only one who can read their handwriting), and he gets a parenting break once a week when he plays soccer with his buds. In other words, he couldn’t be the dad he is without the help of his family and friends.
Happy Father’s Day to all dads out there.
x Team Honeycombers
Special thanks to the Lesslar family for letting us visit.